Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Work...Work..Work

Ah, the blogosphere. I hadn’t really noticed how long it’s been since I wrote, until Sean Anderson sent me comment wishing me well. Sean, I’m good, tired but good. I hope everything is well with you, and I’m sorry your Pokes got killed by the Sooners. We Mizzou fans know all about getting our asses kicked by Bob Stoops. Hey there is always the Chiefs..errr.. the Royals.. errr crap, why wasn’t I born in Boston?
I think I gave it away by the title, but my life has been consumed by work for the last month and a half or so. My job at Buca Di Beppo is going along nicely. I have been in server training (cue The Jefferson’s ‘Moving on Up’ music) for the last couple of weeks so I should be waiting tables very soon. (TAJ, I did learn that menu by the way, the Chicken Saltimbocca is amazing) So my weeks have been a lot like this…
Monday: DST 8:00-4:30,
Buca 5:00- 10:00
Tuesday: DST 8:00-4:30
School 6:00- 10:00
Wednesday: DST 8:00-4:30
Thursday: DST 8:00-4:30
Buca 5:00-10:00
Friday: DST 8:00- 4:30
Buca 5:00-12:00
Saturday: Buca 4:00-12:00ish
Sunday: Off…sometimes…
I really enjoy work, but I miss my family. I miss my wife and kids very much so. The good news is that we have finally started to be a little more financially stable, but at what expense? I do not like missing bath time, story time, and bed time. I do not like hearing that my kids are crying asking for me. It is hard. Really hard, but I will make it through. Rach has been fantastic through all of this. I’m not sure how in the world she does it. No clue. I’m not sure I could. She is just so damn amazing and I am extremely lucky to have her.

My weight “loss” has suffered too. I have maintained, which is good, but I am still very far from where I want to be and I am struggling big time. I haven’t exercised like I should, I have been eating like a fool (damn muffins), the scale may not show, but I feel it. Funny how that works. When I was 345 I would somehow convince my self that I wasn’t that bad. Now at 230 I am trying to convince myself that I am a lot better off, but that is becoming more and more difficult. Weird role reversal for sure. I’m really not sure how to get back to it. I am very motivated and very driven, but energy wise (physically & mentally) I am drained. I am not sure how some of you guys do it. I guess it’s just like anything else, you just have to do it. I’ve read blog after blog, and I realize that I am not any different that any one of them. Everyone has jobs, kids, tragedy, and all kinds of difficult circumstances to overcome. I just cannot figure it out. Many of you cruise along and I am struggling.
I feel as though sometimes, I am slipping into poor habits and I rationalize it by saying “oh look I haven’t gained any weight” and “oh I can turn it on any time I want” but I’m bit worried. Those thought were what got me to 345 in the first place. I’m hoping that identifying the problem is a step in the right direction. I’ve written so many times how I will never go back, and dammit I’m not. It’s time to get it together and just do it. Because I truly believe now that I can do anything I want. I’m not going to let mole hill become a mountain.
I guess the bottom line is that I know what to eat, how to eat, when to eat, why I eat it. I know how to exercise, what to do when I exercise, why I exercise. Now it’s just a matter of putting an action plan into place and following up with it. I think I will start now. Nothing like walking up and down eight flights of stairs for the remaining 20 minutes of my lunch.

5 comments:

  1. Way to go Joe. You need to take off from this holding pattern. Just do it! The hardest part is making the decision to exercise. Doing it when you've started is easy. No Muffins! You are what you eat! Wanna have a muffin-top? Keep eating those things. You're smarter than that. Make an omelet in the morning. Way better for you, plus it gives you protein to keep you going! I'll be the first to start the slow clap.

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  2. We do miss you and the kids do ask for you (and yes, cry for you), but we will be okay. All of us. This won't be forever. Keep on keeping on and one day that window, hell door, will open and you will sail through it. I believe this with all my being and you need to believe it too...Now as for the weight loss (or lack there of), I'm right there with you. We have both allowed our focus to become blurry. Placing stress, ease, life, etc. in front of our ultimate goal and I know I can tell in myself the same as you can tell about yourself also. It has never been about the scale for me, it has always been mental and emotional. We have to love ourselves as much as we love each other. It will not only benefit one another, but everyone around us.
    So now that I have made big talk, guess I need to start walking to back'er up.
    XoXo

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  3. Life is tough, especially with young ones and new jobs. That's great that you're maintaining though, cuz lots of folks in your situation would fall back into old ways and blame the stresses of their life.

    It's tough to make time for exercise, but if you can, I think you'll find that it gives you more energy in the long run. Your body is obviously working more efficiently now... but it won't continue if you don't learn to lay off the muffins. Word to the wise...

    Good luck.

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  4. Doing Ok here Joe. Missed ya my friend!
    Oh yes---stress and it's impact on our habits and resolve---many blogs have been written about this very thing.
    I applaud you for recognizing these things and keeping yourself honest. You know what's right---just like you said.


    Thank you for writing this---Good update,

    My best always
    Sean

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  5. I *love* that you finished this blog post and then went to walk stairs for the rest of your lunch break. Fitting life in, between two jobs, is tough. Weight loss, even more so. But you can do it, and I'm glad to see you posting again so we can follow along with your story!

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