Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Grown up? Most likely not...

My friends* and I were e-mailing each other at work yesterday and the topic of “you know your adult when…” came up. We then compiled a list back and forth. I thought it was funny. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t, but I bet you can relate to one or two of them…

*My friends would be Scott & Rusty, both of whom I have known for over 20 years. They are both totally awesome and much funnier than I am.

The list…which apply to at least one of us or all of us…

-Fall asleep at 8:45
-Bitch about the weather
-I’m balding
-Determine if cheap baby wipes are the same as the expensive ones (they are not)
-Think about the good old days which include George Brett
-Genuinely get pissed at the skateboarders in my street
-Drive a Lincoln
-Graying hair or beard
-Knees, ankles, & hips pop even if I’m only moving my arms
-I have no earthly clue who Taylor Swift is
-I don’t care who Taylor Swift is
-I think about tax implications of every move I make
-The weather app on my iphone is probably the most used
-I will never, ever do the stanky leg (2 of us still aren’t sure what the stanky leg is)
-Genuinely get pissed at the bumping rice rocket, tricked out car on my block (I hope that’s not racist)
-I drive a station wagon
-I have to use the old swing my head back to gain momentum to get off the couch
-Don’t have cable because I think it’s too expensive
-Love Werther’s Original
-Visit restaurants like Cracker Barrel & Golden Corral
-Put on shorts and house shoes when I get home, but leave on my black socks
-Cut coupons
-Get pissed when the neighbor’s dog craps in my yard
-I care more about lawn maintenance than what style of car I drive
-I enjoy talk radio
-My pants actually fit
-I don’t care how tough I look
-I care more about how my lawn is looking than my hair
-I look forward to the nightly news
-I have a long hair on my back, just one. There is also on my right earlobe
-Teenage girls dress too slutty and the guys look like street bums
-I think that teachers, firefighters, & cops should be paid more than pro athletes
-I would rather rent a movie and stay in
-I like cleaning out my garage
-I recycle
-I watch what I eat
-Lightning bugs make me happy
-I read for fun
-I like getting up early
-Coffee tastes good
-I enjoy talking to my elderly neighbors (as long as their dog hasn’t crapped in my yard
-Bitch about the mailman being behind on his route
-Re-use ziplock bags if possible
-Time it just right so I fertilize my lawn just before it rains
-Bought one of those suction cup mats that go in the bathtub to avoid slipping
-Love to drink different kinds of tea
-Pixie sticks taste like shit
-My bedtime has reverted back to what it was when I was 7
-I like driving without the radio on
-I now understand why my dad was so angry all the time


  1. Tell me about those tax implications. My daughter Pisa was born on December 29th. My CPA and I were there in the hospital shouting "PUSH! PUSH!" at my wife.

  2. Oh No! I've just realized I'm beyond grown up - I'm freaking ancient!

  3. Well done sir. It's nice to be a part of history.

  4. It is so sad that I can pick out yours from the others. Well down young men, funny and upbeat.